3 disability-friendly sex positions for couples

There are a lot of misconceptions around disabled people and sex. You might think someone with a physical disability can’t or doesn’t want to have sex, but it’s just not true! Sex and intimacy are natural human desires, and disability doesn’t automatically make someone asexual or non-sexual.

To find out some of the most popular sex positions for couples made with accessibility in mind, we pored over examples from top sex ed websites and disability publications, and we’re bringing our top three favorites to you. But before we dive in, let’s talk about why sex is so good for disabled people in the first place.

According to Health Guide, sex is exercise! Sex has been found to burn an average of 3.6 calories per minute for couples. It can help reduce blood pressure, increase muscle strength and boost heart health, too. Sex is also good for our immune systems. 

“Researchers examined the cortisol levels of stressed adults during nonverbal acts of intimacy, such as snuggling, cuddling, and handholding,” Health Guide writes on their site. “They discovered that couples who experienced this type of intimacy showed a faster recovery compared to less affectionate couples.”

As the global pandemic changes and case numbers fluctuate there’s no better time to protect your immune system. For immunocompromised people, this can be even more important. 

Let’s be clear here: there are certain mental health issues and illnesses that can be disabling. If you’ve experienced sexual trauma or struggle with a disabiity that isn’t physical, it could make you less interested in sex. There’s no shame in that, and you aren’t broken. We’d recommend reaching out to a therapist or mental health professional who can help you address the root cause of your problems.

If you want to have more sex but are struggling because of a mental health disability, a sex position isn’t going to fix that or start the trauma healing process.

Modified missionary is great for couples in which one person can stand and thrust with a penis or strap-on. One partner lays down on the bed on their back, perhaps using pillows to make themselves comfortable. 

The other partner lifts one or two legs into the air and uses them for leverage, perhaps resting the leg on their chest and holding the lying partner’s leg or hips with their hands. This allows them to enter and thrust deeply.

The lying partner can bounce or push back against the standing partner with their hips if they’re able, and if they desire to.

As mentioned, pillows and other accommodations could make this position more comfortable. Dame makes an excellent, wedge-shaped pillow for sex that “supports every angle.” It features a fabric cover, water-resistant liner and handles. Not bad, and easily reusable for many positions and styles!

Partners who use wheelchairs or have limited mobility don’t have to be the receiver, if you know what we mean. You can absolutely enjoy giving great oral sex to your partner from your chair! We recommend having the partner who doesn’t use a wheelchair lie down on the bed, bringing their butt to the edge and putting their legs on the floor with their feet flat.

Ask your partner to place the lower half of their body on your lap. We think this position is great for people with penises or vaginas, and even if you’re not into oral sex you can use toys to stimulate your partner. Lelo’s vibrating penis ring or the clitoral-stimulating Sila are great options for couples.

Another sex position for couples we love that involves a wheelchair is the modified doggy style. Cosmopolitan says special sex chairs can cost up to $329, but that a wheelchair can work just as well. 

“The receiver can also put their legs on either side of the wheelchair and lean forward onto the bed so their weight is nearly fully supported by the wheelchair,” Cosmo writes on their site. “You can slip a scarf or other item under the person’s hips and have the giver hold on to each side for leverage as they pull back and thrust from behind. It works if the giver has any kind of muscle weakness or paralysis.”

Accessibility is important in every aspect of life, and sex is no exception! We hope these sex positions for people with disabilities will bring a little spice and creativity to your couples’ intimacy.